Suddenly it all makes sense...

I hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend! I've used mine to learn some things about myself apparently. Apparently indulging in a few drinks with the family late Sunday night will do that for you.

As those who have read the preceding entries know, I have spent a good portion of my summer agonizing over Work Boy. A typical nice guy, who to my knowledge has never had a girlfriend (not that I've asked, more of an assumption). He seems like the type of guy who would get friend-zoned pretty quickly - kind of like a male version of myself. Supremely non-threatening to a girl because he's sort of dorky looking and again - typical nice guy. Not exactly the type of guy who is likely to get a lot of attention from the opposite sex. I know this - because when I showed his picture to a few friends of mine I actually had a few people who laughed and said he looked like a total geek. He's more likely to get the "awww...you're cute" in that condescending friend sense

But for me? I dunno - there's something about him that just makes me get all tingly. So he's a bit of an awkward dorky looking kid. So am I. He's always smiling and laughs easily. He's got that twinkle in his eye of someone who's got a few tricks up his sleeve. He's one of the few guys I've met that when I turned around day and he had a beard I wasn't weirded/grossed out by it - he looked like a man. He may not look like he'd do much good in a fight, but he sure as hell gives off the vibe that he'd do his damndest to protect you if he had to. He's genuine and cares. And when I see him with kids? *swoon*

That last bit right there is probably what sealed the deal for me to be honest. I have never seen a guy so at ease with children in my life. Adorable.

So all this helped me realize why I was having so much trouble approaching him and saying how I feel. He is a nice guy. Getting a no from him would hurt so much more as a result. Any other guy who I've had the stones to approach was not a typical nice guy. More of a player-type with default nice guy settings because while he was a player at the time, he's not destined to stay that way. Plus, by the time I had the guts to approach them, I already pretty much knew the answer was no so I was really just after closure.

But Work Boy...I'm terrified of what the answer might be, because if I do get a no then it's like "Well...shit."

We were both at a work get-together last weekend. (As in one of the other co-ordinators invited all of us to her cottage but only a few of us went.) We were two of the six people that ended up spending the night at the cottage. We were both pretty loaded by the time darkness fell. We had spent the whole time basically pairing off - partly because of who else was there and we get on well and know each other well cause we worked in the same area. We had a lot of good conversation and a few specific moments I'm still not entirely sure what to make of.

We still talk regularly online. But now we won't hardly see each other so somethings gonna have to give if this is gonna work out the way I would like. As in...I need to woman up about it and just go in headlong like I do with most other things in my life. Ugh...I know I have little to lose by just going for it.

And the other thing is - my crushes, generally speaking, do not survive more than 2-3 months. Work Boy is at the crucial 3 months right now. He's also weathered the interloper for my attention in terms of Captain Douchebag. However, what's going to happen when we aren't seeing each other all the time and he's back at school and I'm set to be unemployed for the time being until something comes along?

Who knows. But why is it so hard to just ask if the guy wants to go get a coffee?