Over the summer I didn't really go to the bar that much, largely because I was busy with about fifty billion other things, but also because the crowd I hung out with during school last year has largely left town - either moving home or moving on to jobs elsewhere. However, during my year at teacher's college I was frequenting the bars/clubs an obscene amount by my previous standards. In fact, during the fall we were actually going out every Friday and every Saturday.
Now, when I out to a bar/club, I'm going with my friends and I'm there to dance and hang out - not pick up. I've mentioned before that I tend to fall for my guy friends, or at least guys who run in the same social circle as me. As such, I don't usually display any interest in guys who may hit on me in the bar. In fact, I usually don't notice unless someone points it out to me. I tend to get wrapped up in my own little world a lot of the time anyway and when it comes to guys hitting on me, if I have no interest in them, I just don't pick up on it because I'm not looking for it.
So the other day, as a friend of mine and I were discussing our success and failures with guys, we both started realizing that both of us do get hit on more than we had originally thought. The unfortunate part is it's usually guys in bars that we don't have interest in, not guys we actually have an interest in. Both of us tend to measure if guys are interested in us by if they ask us for our number, which for both of us is not something that happens often, and when it does it usually results in nothing anyway so even that isn't a good measure of the level of interest a guy has in you.
Now neither of us have any desire to meet our significant other in a bar. And frankly, most people looking to pick up in a bar, are not looking for a relationship.
Speaking for myself, I know that I'm not someone who is going to really go after a typical alpha. In the past I've ended up crushing on the alphas who will ultimately end up turning back into the good guys they started life as. I fall for them because they can be the charmer and do the witty banter back and forth with me - but these are still guys in my social circle that I'm friends with. I ultimately get the "just friends" and they aren't looking for a relationship anyway line. Later as we become good friends, having dealt with the sexual tension and had it fizzle out, in conversations I'll get told I'd make a great girlfriend, I'm cute, hot, funny, etc. Fantastic - so what you're saying is that yeah I'm great but you want someone who is hotter. I get it already.
But my personal favourite is when, at bars - (you thought I was totally off topic again didn't you!) - these guys turn into the over protective brother type friend. One night, a buddy of mine actually completely cockblocked me. Just flat out in the middle of a club, went from watching warily to full out pulling me away and being like "Hey dance with me!" I ended up calling him out on it later and reminded him I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. Not to mention how he'd already fed me the just friends line some time previously so unless he'd changed his mind he should back the fuck up if he sees me with a guy.
Bars/clubs are weird places to meet people anyway. They're loud and busy and you can't really have a conversation. Again - why people in bars/clubs are not really looking for a relationship past that night.
This post started out as a good idea but I kept getting distracted as I tried to write it so I have a feeling it's not particularly coherent.
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