I tend to be the go-to person in my group of friends for many things - especially if one needs a favour or someone to cheer them up. Apparently I actually come across as very nice and approachable which I've always found hilarious cause I think of myself as a bit of a bitch. However, I do tend to bend over backwards for my friends and at times have found myself being taken advantage of.
Now the problem is when I get to be in a shitty mood, I don't want to deal with other people's problems. The other problem is, when you are the person who provides this service to others in your group, you don't really have someone to turn to.
As I sit here, my summer job has ended except for getting called in for a few extra hours here and there. I've had two interviews for teaching jobs - one for the supply list in my hometown which I haven't heard back from yet (that was 2.5 weeks ago now) and one for an LTO (long term occasional - so a maternity leave) about four hours away (that was on Wednesday). I just got a call that I didn't get the LTO. I wasn't really expecting to, but it still sucks. Basically - I'm looking at being gainfully unemployed after today aside from the occasional babysitting gig. Hurray! Volunteering will be fine, but I need a damn job.
Additionally - the whole boy situation after the doomed encounter with Captain Douchebag (formerly known as Engineer Boy) has bottomed out.
So the last thing I want to be hearing from my friends right now are the following things:
1. "Oh I'm on the supply list but I don't think I'll get any calls and it's stressing me out."
2. "I'm really nervous about starting next week. What if my students hate me?"
3. "I have so much lesson planning to do!"
4. "I got offered an LTO, but I'm not going to take it because I already told my old boss I'd be back to teach dance while I did supply work."
5. "How current does my pastoral reference need to be?" - from the girl who is on two supply lists and got offered an LTO but didn't take it yet still wants more STFU
6. "My boyfriend is meeting the family tonight and I'm really nervous."
7. "My boyfriend did xyz for me - it was so cute!"
You get the idea.
I'm unemployed and single. So STFU. I don't give a flying fuck about your so called 'problems' because you know what? I would kill to have those problems right now! I spent yesterday sitting on my ass doing nothing and guess what I discovered? I suck at being unemployed. I also jump out of my skin every time the phone rings. Only to be disappointed.
I understand if it's your first teaching gig, you're nervous and you need to talk about it. But seriously? When my response is "Yeah I still have nothing" maybe that's a clue to stop talking about it.
This is all compounded by the fact that I keep finding out that people who should never be allowed anywhere near children keep getting jobs. Just fuck off.
Whatever - I'm helping out another co-ordinator this afternoon with her camp so that'll keep me busy and away from the phone. At least most of my friends who are getting jobs are in different subject areas than me.
I think a lot of people are just completely insensitive to others when it comes to problems - they're selfish and will go to anyone who will listen. I'm kind of like you, people tell me all about them, but I've noticed that they rarely listen to me or feel "annoyed" or "bored" when I tell them my problems, which they amount to being trivial compared to theirs for some reason. I had a messed up deal with a guy over the summer, and when I told my friends many of them told me to "stop being so dramatic" when the problem I had was pretty real and I needed advice!! Or they didn't seem interested at ALL in helping me. I in turn got so pissed off. They take my thoughtful advice for granted completely and never take a minute to listen to me.
ReplyDeleteI've learned to stop giving them the gratification after a while though. If I notice girls continually blabbing about their cute and perfect boyfriends, I start getting short with them. Something people seem most insensitive with to me is their dating lives. "Boy A asked me out!" or "Boy B and I started this relationship yada yada yada.." I DON'T CARE. It's like all the girls I know so easily get boyfriends and I'm the lone person who can't for some reason. They all keep telling me, "You'll meet someone, don't worry!" or "You have to love YOURSELF before anyone can love you!" Than why have I seen the most insecure girls in the world get bfs no problem? Ok, so I've been single for 21 years, WHEN WILL IT HAPPEN? To be single for 21 years of your life, when no guy liked you enough to keep pursuing you, there is NO way anyone can know how that TRULY feels unless you've lived it. So SHUT UP! Don't you DARE tell me how I should feel, or that I shouldn't feel bad, and then proceed to brag how you're so lovable and attractive.
Ok sorry for that rant. But I get you. I'm going to start becoming too busy to hear about people's shit, unless they have an emergency they must tell me about or whatnot.
I've been lucky - I haven't had them tell me I'm being overly dramatic or anything. In fact, the majority of my friends were more upset on my behalf about the boy drama this summer than I was. I laughed it off, my friend went and reemed out her boyfriend because he's friends with the guy.
ReplyDeleteThe boy stuff I can usually deal with - just because I'm used to it. However, the job stuff is what is really pissing me off lately. Too much for me to deal with.