Chaos

It always seems to me that I go from being bored to tears to being overwhelmed. This time I'm partly to blame in terms of being overwhelmed. I decided that on top of working a full time 40+ hour work week I would also take an online course for an additional teaching qualification. Not the best of ideas because I'm coming home from work absolutely exhausted it seems.

On top of that I have soccer - practices and games - and I'm trying to maintain some semblance of a social life by keeping up with friends. I had to say no when a buddy of mine asked if I wanted to play softball tonight. I really wanted to but I'm buried under work and I haven't even had dinner yet because my parents are out doing something and then we're going to eat together as we do.

This whole week has been one hell of a rollercoaster with it's ups and downs. It's giving me whiplash. Something will be going well and then suddenly something else happens. Injuries at my camps (nothing huge, but still stressful with paperwork and making sure everything is fine - especially when kids are making a huge deal out of every little thing). Behavioural issues at my camps. Staff almost quitting as a result of the behavioural issues at camp. Gaining yet another staff at one of my sites because numbers have been so high. Angry parents. Staff calling me at home at 10pm about something I didn't need to know about that night - or really at all. Realizing I'm not getting an interview with a school board who put out interview offers this week. Not sleeping enough. Having a shitty soccer practice.

Then there's the good times. Being interviewed for tv and then watching myself. Pirate Day was enjoyed by all - except me really because I spent so much time being the bad cop. But the kids had fun which is the important thing. The good kids - who get all excited when they see me and come running up to give me hugs screaming my name. Freezies. Realizing my staff respect and look up to me - and notably gaining the respect from some difficult staff (albeit grudgingly, but they've at least acknowledged that I've done this job long enough that I'm going to know more than them in some areas). Swimming with two of my camps yesterday. Seeing the work husband every day this week for some reason and talking online with him at night every night this week as well. Laughing with my staff - and getting my one super stressed out staff to laugh again on the phone after he was nearly in tears because of this shit day he had. Solving problems. The kids having a blast just chasing me around the gym because I was in a costume and being silly. Having friends who will listen to my ranting and raving.

Having the work husband ask me to save him a seat at the meeting tomorrow. The way he smiles at me. The way that he's all business with his camp and then as soon as he can makes a beeline to me in the pool. The look of annoyance he got when one of my staff came to ask me a question and totally interrupted him mid-sentence. His laugh. The back and forth banter. The way he haphazardly tries to divert my attention and make me laugh when I say I'm stressed out with the work stuff that happened this week. Watching him with his kids.

Oh I'm smitten alright.

Everything is so back and forth. I need something consistent and suddenly he is that person without even meaning to be. He had some great ideas about the one problem I've been having with my one camp and I'm going to use it.

I suppose it's the nature of my job to be back and forth and crazy, and I already knew I didn't do well with online learning so that explains that stress.

But I'll get through it because there's so many other GOOD things happening too.